Waterworks

I was talking to my aunt, a former AFSer to Belgium, the other week about exchange and she gave me this piece of advice: let yourself feel whatever you feel, because it just gets too exhausting to hold feelings in. I have not put that to better use than in the last three days. I've been happy and frustrated, confused and completely at peace, but mostly sad. Its hard to say goodbye, over and over again, to all of the people you know and have it all lead up to the biggest blow of them all: saying goodbye to my family.

I absolutely love the Humans of New York project. One of the questions that he asks people is what was the saddest moment they can remember. I know what I would say. Hugging my family and boyfriend just outside of security, bawling my eyes out, and then having to walk away into a huge adventure that at that moment seemed like the most terrifying thing I could possibly be doing. But I did it, I got on the plane.

I had been joking with my parents that whoever sat next to me on the plane had better be a little sympathetic, because I knew I would be crying a lot. What I didn't expect was to sit next to a woman who had hosted an AFS student when she was in high school. I got to sit next to someone who completely understood what I was feeling at the moment, and I was so grateful for that.

I've been saying goodbye to so many people that I was really getting tired of it. It was draining. A very small part of me was looking forward to getting on the plane, because that would mean that I was done with goodbyes. It didn't feel like a relief at first, but after I stopped blubbering and calmed down a bit, I realized that I was starting to really look forward to everything ahead of me again. I'm going to ECUADOR! How crazy is that?! I'm going to miss everyone terribly, but I'm also happy to not have to dread saying goodbye anymore. That's behind me, and I'm glad for it.

I'm writing this from my hotel room in Miami, where I'm waiting to meet the three other students who will be flying to Quito with me. We have a short orientation and fly out tomorrow afternoon. Another realization I had was that now that I'm done with goodbyes, I'm doing a complete 180. Now I get to introduce myself to everyone. That, in itself, is a little daunting, but so far, I'm enjoying it.

Now I get to put my friend-making skills to the test. I'm a little nervous, but it helps to know that the rest of the AFSers are in the same boat, or on the same plane (just to be accurate).

Hasta luego,

Elisa